Abandonment
by unsanctuaire
Summary: A year passed. Artemis is regretting things. She should've fixed him a long time ago, but…
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys this is a five-shot series. Artemis/?, Artemis/Dick, Dick/Zatanna_

_Summary: "Hey, Kal… is this how you felt when you saw your best friends together?" Artemis inquired; her eyes still on them. "Does the pain ever go away?"_

* * *

_Leaving_

* * *

"Are you not enjoying the party?"

Artemis turned her head to the side and she smiled. She had never seen him so relieve before and she was glad. Kaldur had given up so much, sacrificed so much for the sake of the world and his team. She had to give him props for sacrificing so much to keep up the charade with his father and fooling the Light at the same. It was only a year that she began playing the henchwoman for Kaldur as Tigress.

And now there was party in order, of course not before Nightwing introduced two of original members at the party. Of course, some people weren't happy that their leader would hide such important information. They were even more surprised that they even kept this from the Batman; the man who knows all.

Kaldur had apologized for his actions while he was undercover. He knew he hurt many people, but even so, his old team had accepted him back. His mentor, Aquaman was just glad that his protégé did not really turn to the dark side.

When Nightwing had re-introduced her to the team again, she engulfed with many hugs from others. The one who refused to let her go was her mentor, Green Arrow, who didn't take her death that well and was hell bent on getting revenge on the Atlantean.

"_Never do that again, you hear me?_" _Green Arrow said, withholding tears. His grip around her tightened. Artemis let a glistening tear run down her face and nodded. She knew her adoptive father would take it the hardest._

_Soon enough, they were engulfed by Black Canary, whispering the same things to her. Roy joined in too; threatening her never to do it ever again and how Cheshire had almost gone her way to avenge her. To her, it felt like a family reunion and she could never ask for a better family than this._

Artemis had apologized to him, her adoptive father who had taken her in after the death of her mother. She knew that Green Arrow had always seen her as a daughter he never had.

Everyone who had greeted her cried as soon she took them to her arms. M'Gann cried; realizing that she had almost killed her sister and apologized so many times. Superboy almost hugged her to death, just to familiarize himself with her heartbeat again. Batgirl had slapped her before turning into a crying mess. Zatanna embraced her tightly; saying that she never did believe she was dead and she was glad that her best friend was alive and well.

Now it was two hours into the party and Artemis was starting to get bored. She looked around the room and oddly felt left out for some reason. Then Artemis turned her attention to the couple from afar and she grimly sighed.

"Are you not enjoying the party?" Kaldur inquired. He had found her in the same spot he left her two hours ago.

"Not really. I kind of want to go home now."

It pained her just to see her two best friends were together. She was always watching, but never acting. She stood in the sidelines for far too long and she just let go of Dick without even fighting an inch for him. Artemis never learned how to convey her feelings to other people and was frightened to the core that she might mess up the one friendship she treasured.

And now… they were…

_"I have good news to tell you!" Zatanna announced excitedly when she dragged the blonde off the side of the room._

_Artemis could only smile and replied matching her excited-ness with Zee. "What is it?"_

_And when she saw that object wrapped around her best friend's finger; her smile almost faltered. "I'm engaged! Dick purposed to me last night!"_

Engage.

Her best friends are engage.

"Hey, Kal… is this how you felt when you saw your best friends together?" Artemis inquired; her eyes still on them. "Does the pain ever go away?"

"The pain of seeing Tula and Garth still gets to me. It never goes away."

She tore her gaze away from the newly engaged couple. She needed to get away, far away from all this. Artemis had been thinking of quitting the team for a while.

_Artemis found Nightwing in the kitchen, preparing drinks. She stepped right behind him and noted that the boy hasn't even noticed her presence._

_"Congratulations on your engagement~" She said and smiled once Nightwing whirled around with a startled expression sketched on his face._

_He chuckled lightly. "Thanks, Artemis. You know I could never do it without you if you haven't told me what kind of ring she wanted."_

_She almost, almost let out a bitter laugh. Because even though she did picked the ring that Zatanna liked, it was also the ring she liked also. And to think the only guy she like gave it to her best friend killed her. But Artemis knew it was going to happen sooner or later and she didn't think it would be this soon._

_And once more, she congratulated him before leaving him to get his drinks._

Finally making up her mind, Artemis turned around from everything, everybody, and him. She gazed straight into the Atlantean's eyes as if they were telepathically talking with each other. "Tell them I'm sorry, Kaldur."

The Atlantean nodded; understanding what the archer was planning to do. He had known for quite a while during his time with the Light. Artemis had confided in him; telling him her feelings about leaving the team for a while. And the Atlantean didn't think she would leave so soon, just right after they had defeated the Light. Kaldur watched the retreating back of his comrade and he could only mutter,

"I hope I see you one day again, my friend."


	2. Chapter 2

_Whatever I said last chapter, this is not a five-shot story anymore. LOL. I changed my mind. _

_Summary: It's been six months since she left everything behind. She finally calls home to check in and is given a task from her adoptive brother to look for the other adoptive brother instead she found a dead person._

* * *

_Sidetracked_

* * *

Shoving the last coin into the payphone, she quickly dialed the ten-digit number. Ringing filled her left ear and patiently waited for the other person on the other line to pick up. Finally,

"_Hello?_"

"Roy, its Artemis."

"_Artemis? What the hell? It's been six months since we heard last from you._"

The blonde heaved frustrated sigh as she leaned against the booth. "I'm sorry. I got sidetracked." There was a distinct shouting in the background and heard a few dial tones.

"_Sidetracked?! Artemis we were so worried!"_ A new voice shouted into the phone. "_Do you know how many times I have stopped Dinah from going after you and drag your ass back?_" Oliver lets out a exasperated sigh. Worry and anger was evident in his voice.

"I'm sorry I made you guys worry." She said, sincere in her tone. "I'm in London right now." It was daily routine for her tell her mentor where she resided now. Artemis thinks it would be a good conscious health on Oliver if he knew. She still remembered the day when she announced to her family that she wanted out. She didn't want to be in the team anymore.

Roy knew. Oliver knew. Dinah knew. They all knew why she didn't want to be in the team anymore. Roy supported her on her decision. Oliver was a bit hesitant. Dinah wanted her to stay, but Artemis could never forget her foster mother's pain filled her azure eyes. In a way, she talked as if she was leaving for good. Never turning her back again to the hero life.

And the funny part, it was kind of true. She was running away from the life she wanted as a teenager. Being a hero, praised by the civilians, etc. Artemis suddenly turned everything upside down when her feelings got in the way.

Because loving Dick Grayson is the worst thing in the world.

Especially now her best friend, Zatanna, is engaged with him.

Artemis breathed in deeply, rattling her thoughts from her best friends. She tuned in back to reality and realized that Oliver has been calling her.

"_Are you still there? Hello?!_"

"Sorry, Oliver," She apologized sincerely. "Where's Dinah?"

"_Dinah is at the cave training the little kiddies._" Roy informed. "_You're in London right? Can you do me a favor?_"

The blonde raised a brow and stared at the phone if she was hearing things right. Roy _hardly_ asks for favors. He's more of do it himself guy (back then). "A favor? From the great Roy 'Angroy' Harper. This has got to be good."

"_Shut the fuc—"_

"_No cussing!"_

_"Yes 'dad'."_

She could easily picture the red head rolling his eyes right now. Ever since she and Roy moved into the Queen Mansion, Oliver has been enforcing a 'no cussing' rule ever since. Because honestly, she and Roy, they weren't that _friendly _back then. "What's the favor?"

"_I need you to look out for the other Roy. He kind of took off something about a finding himself bullshit."_

_"No cussing!"_

Simply ignoring the comment from her foster dad, she grinned. "He ran away because of you." It was simple statement that she could almost hear the red head glaring over the line. "How do you even know that he's in London?"

_"He took off to London. Said he wanted to go somewhere new."_

Artemis shook her head. She recalled the time during the family dinner and it was clearly shown on his face that he felt truly lost. There were new additions to the family. Dinah moved in. Artemis got adopted. Roy decided to move in as well for other complicated reasons. Then there was Roy, an arm missing and living with a family he doesn't know anymore. She never had the chance to talk to him one on one but she might as well take this advantage to look for him and reason with to come back. "I'll look for the guy."

_"Thanks. And don't forget to call next week."_

_"Yeah, don't forget your favorite uncle ok?"_

"I won't Oliver. Talk to you soon." With that, she hanged the phone back to its receiver and sighed. Given a task to look for the original Roy (wherever the fuck he's at) she might as well start looking in London.

.

She fails at life. She fails at her own love life. She fails for a simple task to look for Roy. Once again, she was sidetracked. Nine hours ago, she was looking for any signs of an angry red head but instead she found something else. Artemis finds herself deeply delve into a kidnapping case.

It was the most fascinating thing to her. Why? How could not anyone notice all the kidnapping children cases with the recent rise drug trafficking. She knew they were connected. And she was right.

Artemis managed to find the warehouse where the kids were held. It was easy to extract information from a kidnapper with a simple use of her bow and little trick of interrogation she learned from the brooding bat himself.

She crawled to the closest bush to the warehouse for a better view. Binoculars rested against her eyes, searching for the dealers. Her grip on the binoculars tightens when her eyes found the kids packing drugs. What kind of drug cartel used kids to pack drugs? Wait—_shit—_that doesn't look like cocaine.

"It's cocaine, but its lace with something else."

Artemis retracted from her binoculars. Something about that voice seemed too _dead_ familiar. Like it as if she was talking to him. She finally cranes her neck to the side and she swore her heart stopped.

Hysterically laughing at the idea that she was fucking _hallucinating_ the dead, a boy whom she grew closer with during her stay at the team. It took her a great deal of therapy sessions with her foster mother to get over his death and it killed her over and over every time she hallucinated the boy around Gotham. She was seeing him everywhere she patrolled. But this, this was twisted. Did she unconsciously connect cocaine with _his mother_ and how she had die and thus decided to create a somehow seemingly older boy?

"I seriously don't need this." She shook her head. Nope. She was going to ignore the existence of this—this—

"'Mis, what the fuck are ya talking about?"

"Oh great, you sound like him. You sound way too real."

"Because I am real, you dork." The hallucinated person tugged her blonde threads hard and she –in automatic response—punched him right on the shoulder.

"I told you not to tug my—" Artemis never finished the sentence when her mind registering what just happened. Thinking that a punch would make him go away, instead she got a smug smirk. "Jason?"

Jason holding his arms out and proclaimed, "The one and the only."

"How—?"

She never got a response from the once dead Robin as he somehow disappeared before her with a—is that a sword?—weapon in hand. Flashes of the mission appeared in her mind: the drugs, the warehouse, the bomb, _blood__._

Artemis quickly ran after teenager. She wasn't planning to see him dead ever again.


	3. Chapter 3

_Summary: A year passed. Artemis is regretting things. She should've __fixed_ him a long time ago, but…

* * *

_Deleo Memoria  
_

* * *

"Take a picture, babe, it'll last longer."

Artemis scowled at his shitty grin that she loathes. An exasperated sigh escapes her lips and _tried_ to focus on something else. Somehow her gray orbs automatically lands on him again. Staring. Observing.

This was too surreal. Jason Todd sitting before her, alive and well. Artemis hoped in the back of her mind that this wasn't some illusion or went insane by imagining her favorite little kid. The bond they created the time with the team had them grown closer. It was interesting to know a person who'd grow up at Crime Alley and they connected with so many things that they instantly became best friends.

It wasn't hard to back then. He was likeable person underneath all the cockiness and rudeness he held against the other members. But either way, she knew he was liked by everyone. The way his death impacted the team, they all took it hard. The team didn't go back to their regular mindset for a while. M'Gann would find herself in the kitchen unconsciously making a chili dog for him at the same exact time he _eats_ it for every Friday. Connor would stare endlessly at the hologram memorial down at the grotto. Wally wallowed himself in the souvenir room. The red head passed on the job to Jason once he joined the team. Dick cried and blamed himself more. After all, it was the first time he was made leader and his little brother died. And then Artemis…

She took it hard; it took her a while to finally admit that he was gone. She always had this sense that Jason will popped out of nowhere and "_Surprise! I survived that blast!_" It was almost to the point that she hallucinated Jason around Gotham whenever she patrolled with Robin. Her hallucinations got worse six months later as her hallucinations seemed _too real_. It never went away for a year. She never told anyone, not even her team, not even Zatanna nor Dick. She didn't want anyone burdening anyone with her problems.

The sudden appearance of a tissue appeared before her shocked her out of her thoughts. She glances at Jason, puzzlingly.

"You're crying."

What? She touched her face and once she felt it, she wiped all traces of her tears from her face with the given napkin. She didn't even realize she was crying.

"Jeez, I leave you alone Jason for a day and you made my _sister_ cry." By the doorframe, there stood the angry red head Artemis had been searching for. The red head took a step inside the room as he kicked the door closed behind him.

Artemis stood up, thrilled that she doesn't have to find him anymore. "_Roy! _You—" She stopped herself, her mind barely swallowing the fact that he knew about Jason. She pointed at the said boy, "How long have you—"

"Not long. I bumped into him two days ago." Roy interrupted before his sister concludes something else. He stared at the younger boy. "I brought you chili dogs." He held up the greasy paper bag as Jason greedily took it and went on his merrily way to the kitchen. Taking the younger's spot on the chair; he inquired curiously, "What brings you to London?"

She shrugs; honestly she just went wherever the wind takes her. Artemis snorted; how cliché was that. "Sightseeing. What about you, Roy? Heard from _bro_ that you went to a journey to find yourself. By the way, like the hair." Artemis realized how long it has been since she saw Roy since she abandoned everything behind. "How the hell did you manage to get it so long this fast?"

Roy grinned and he leaned back against the chair. "Courtesy of Zatanna. I think it irked the team how they couldn't tell the difference between Roy and I."

Artemis opened her mouth to retort with a one arm joke but closed it. Her eyes trailed to the once missing arm, filled in with a mechanical arm. Whoa. _When did that happen?_

The red head notice her eyes on his mechanical arm and filled her in, "STAR Labs made it for me. Custom designed it too." He flexed his arm, showcasing how real it looked. "It's not bad."

Artemis impressed that it looked too real like his arm was never cut off. She had to give props to STAR labs. Then a small grin crept up on her lips as she slyly asked, "What's this whole going to find myself bullshit?"

"Is that how Roy explained it to you?" When he received a nod from the blonde, he heaved an exasperated sigh. "I just wanted to get away from everything, same _reason_ you're running away for almost six months."

Artemis didn't say much after that. Sure, she wanted to get away from everything but really she was just running away. From her family, friends, her best friends. It was all too much to bear. She heaved a sigh and a bitter laugh escapes her lips. When did everything go so _weird_? She glanced back at the kitchen as she could hear Jason munching on his favorite food.

The funny part, he's eating chilidogs on a Friday after he gets home from school. Around 3:30 he'd be at the mountain eating his junk food courtesy of M'Gann.

"I need to tell you something about him."

Roy's stern voice made her whipped her head in all seriousness. She'd hope that nothing was wrong with the kid but she didn't want to believe if there is something wrong with him. "What?"

The red head made a slightly pained face as he glances at the kitchen then back at her. "As I said, I met Jason two days ago…"

.

The cold breeze rushing at her made her wish she wore a better coat. The skies were covered with grey clouds, partly covering the shining moon over the beautiful city of Paris. She stood rigidly against the wall as she patiently waited for her guest to arrive.

It was two weeks since she arrived in London. Two weeks since she met with Roy. Two weeks since she found Jason.

The conversation she had with her brother never stopped replaying in her mind. It was a constant thought and she couldn't stop. She wanted answers to why Jason is so un-Jason-_like_. He wasn't the same kid she met when Nightwing first introduced the new Robin, the sweet cocky brat. Now he was different.

_How?_

Artemis was pretty sure Batman didn't train his little protégé to kill. In more descriptive terms: _how to kill 100 different ways with a sword_. She first-handedly witnessed his sadistic nature with his sword when it came to fighting. He killed those drug dealers in a way that was more brutal than she'd ever killed anyone. But his fighting style with the sword was all too familiar and she knew one person with a similar style.

"Walk with me."

Her guest didn't spare her a single glance and Artemis quickly joined by her side. She matched her pace with the guest and she wasted no time getting to the point.

"Why did you do that to him?"

Talia's unemotional gaze unnerved Artemis, but she didn't back down. "You will get answers soon. But first I am hungry. Have you ever tasted the fine delicacy of Paris cuisine, Artemis?"

Artemis didn't argue about the change the subject. She knew she'll get her answers soon and it wasn't best to irritate the woman. "No."

"Good. You will enjoy dinner tonight, then." Talia made a full stop at an elegant restaurant and the blonde knew why Talia strictly ordered her to dress nice for the occasion. It was a good thing too. She hated drawing attention to herself.

It took seconds to get seated and another few minutes to get their orders. Talia took the liberty of ordering one for her. A dish that she _will_ like. Artemis didn't mind. As long she's not paying for the bill.

"You called to question about Jason, correct?"

"Yes."

Talia nodded, taking a sip of her wine. Artemis couldn't read her—never could read her old mentor. It was hard to know what she's thinking as she is unpredictable. "We've found him in Gotham, two years ago. He was staggering around the streets as he did so. His body was well and but not his mind."

Artemis stared at her; barely sinking in the information. What she couldn't fathom how the hell did they manage to miss a half dead Jason Todd walking around Gotham?_ But you did see him!_ Her mind argued. _You wrote him off as a hallucination_. No. No. That was— this is absurd! _How the hell—why the fuck did I convince myself he was hallucinations?_ She didn't speak up as she battled her own mind why, why, _why?_ Then next moment made her blank out.

"We took him in our care. My father ordered tests on him and as well how to control his mind." Talia continued. She set her wine glass down as she connected her hands together on the table and calmly said, "I believed you _worked_ with the Red Hood, Tigress_?_"

.

Artemis watched as the teen made his way down the skyscraper and without a moment of delay she heard a sharp _pop_. She saw the zip line attached to something and Jason flew away into the lighted city. Her eyes never took off the flying form until she heard the door flew opened. The red head sat next to her on the ledge of the rooftop.

"Where's the brat going now?"

"I got him a gadget. Courtesy from his 'mother'."

"_Mother_? Wait. Jason refers to Talia as mother?"

"Just as you suspected, Roy, they did mess with his memories. They conjured up a whole life time of memories inside him. Now he thinks Jason lived with Talia as long as he lived but at some point he ran away to become a hero."

Roy paused as he digests the new information. Even though he hasn't seen the kid for ages since he was stuck in a pod; he did had a chance to meet with the infamous Jason when he was still a kid. The young and innocent Jason Todd seemed like a distant memory to him. What surprised him the most that the brat even still remembered him and even distinguish him from his twin. "That's fucked up of Talia. If we brought this kid to _them_, it'll just kill them all over again."

Artemis snorted knowing the truth behind those words. The last time she'd ever gone to visit the Wayne Manor when it was two weeks after the funeral. It was also around the time that Bruce and Dick argued so much that he moved out to Bludhaven on his own. "That's not even the fucked up side of this. Jason he doesn't even remember his hero name. The upside is he still remembers the team. The really fucked up part, he doesn't remember who Batman, Nightwing or Robin."

The red head incredulously stare at the blond as if she said the most ridiculous thing in the world. "Shit." He breathed out. "To think that Talia would go so far. She did tell you how to _fix_ him right?"

"Yes, but—" Artemis heaved a frustrated sigh. The whole trip back from Paris consisted of fixing Jason or not. It plagued her mind to the point that it was making her insane. The information she soaked up from Talia wasn't registering in her mind and it still bothered her that all this time, she was _seeing_ him. "If I told him the code word, his mind would collapse literally and he would go insane. I don't know but Talia won't tell me what happened when they used the Pit on him."

The siblings stayed quiet as they thought over what they said. It was good night tonight as the light breeze kept them cool. The clouds were clouded just like how their minds were clouded with important decisions.

Then, Roy whispered to her, "Don't you want the _old_ Jason back?"

.

It was the chilly night of mid-February as the cool seeped into their safe house at Los Angeles. The party of three has grown to four ever since a certain alien princess joined their team. It was a certain mission somewhere in the islands of Hawaii.

Artemis didn't like the idea the Jason was killing more and more of the targets. Even now, he was killing men that didn't deserve such death with his sword and she was so tempted so many times to say the code word and all of things would be crashing down on him.

But—

No.

She doesn't. Days turn to weeks to months to a year. It was almost to the point that she's afraid to say it. Afraid of the outcome. Afraid of how Jason will take it. Roy thinks she should've done it a year ago. Kori thinks she should do the right thing for him. But _what the hell_ is the right thing for Jason?

The guilt she held never escaped her, body, mind and soul. She takes it, withholds it in and stares at her guilt. All she could think, those times, those hallucinations—she should've investigate it. Save him from the al Ghul's—the Light who used him against the team. Unknowingly—they attack him thinking he's the enemy. But underneath the red helmet holds the boy they all mourn for. And even after the defeat of the Light, they never knew.

The mission—earlier—was a simple one. Infiltrate the submarine, get the cargo, and get the fuck out. But no. Jason decided to want fun and decided to stab all of his victims, play with them, and finally he lets them go.

Artemis thinks that was enough. Jason—the sweet, playful, rude kid she met back at the Mount Justice, she wants him back. Not this new Jason, this imposter that Talia created.

And then Jason angrily spats at her— "You're not my mother, Artemis. You can't control what I can't and can do!"

"Bruce would never approve of this! He never trained you to kill! I—"

Jason gives her the most confused look. Oh right. He doesn't know who Bruce, Dick, Tim, Barbara is. He only remembers the team. And then Artemis thought: _He shouldn't be going through this at all. _

Then—

.

"I believed you _worked_ with the Red Hood, Tigress_?_"

Artemis whipped her head up and incredulously stared at her old mentor. No. She didn't hear that right. Then it finally sinks it and the memories flowed quickly into her head. All those times she worked with the Red Hood with the Light, she never realized it was him.

Talia glanced at her old protégé and continued speaking. "Red Hood was the agent for the Light, best assassin created for my father. As I said, we found Jason alive and well but his mind seemed to be off. Ra's figured out to control his mind with the help of Lex Luthor and Klarion the Witch Boy. It's almost the same way they controlled the League seven years ago."

The blonde stared at her horrified. The same way the Light _controlled_ the League? But… "Red Hood didn't last long."

"No he didn't. The Martian attacked his mind and triggered something that even we didn't think could happen. With the Martian's psychic abilities, it completely destroyed his semi-working mind." The daughter of the demon glared at her as she gripped her wine tightly. "We had Psimon to piece everything back together, but even he had trouble. The next best thing for him—"

"—the Lazarus Pit." Artemis finished, finally piecing everything in her head. "You used the Lazarus Pit on him. Wh-What happen to him then?"

Talia nodded, affirming her answer. Artemis watched her mentor took another sip and she knew that was all she was going to get. That was it. The daughter of the demon stayed quiet until their food came and Artemis was left alone with her thoughts. As they began to eat their cuisine, she inquired, "I want to bring his memories back."

The woman hummed lowly. "A risky solution. It can't be helped. But I warn you, Artemis, his conscious health would not be good."

And it was a risk she was willing to take.

.

Then she found herself saying the exact words that'd been repeating in her head for a year. It slipped out easily from her tongue and said it with such smoothness and softness that it was almost _possible_ that Jason didn't hear it.

"_Vivere disce, cogita mori_."

At the last minute before Jason reacted to the words, Artemis swore she saw a flicker of recognition with a small pinch of betrayal etched on his face. Tears streamed down his face and he held out his hand at her as if he'd wanted to reach her or maybe to strangle her. Either way, before he collapse, a pair of strong arms catch him. Roy held a limp Jason in his arms as his chartreuse orbs tried to find answers from his sister.

Artemis stared at the limp boy and pondered why Talia chose such a cruel code word to release his memories, to release from his fake persona that Talia created. And with those things in mind, she softly murmured the phrase again, "_Learn to live; Remember death."_


End file.
